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I’m so thrilled to announce that I will be embarking on a month long New York tour starting on May 1st and I will be bringing my one woman show – REVEAL ALL FEAR NOTHING-  to not one but TWO theaters in New York (both Brooklyn and Manhattan).  So please spread the word and buy your tickets because I want to see you on the East Coast.  Can’t make it out to the East Coast but you still want to support this ambitious tour?  Help contribute at my indiegogo  – https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/reveal-all-fear-nothing-goes-to-new-york#/.

Also if you are a journalist or press that would like to cover the event or would love to help out and volunteer  – reach out to me at madison@madisonyoung.org .

 

See you there!!!!

New York Tour Dates

 

When: April 30th 7pm – 11pm

What: Missed Connection: A Craigslist Cabaret: In light of the passing of FOSTA/SESTA, please join us for a night of tributes to a fallen stalwart, the Craigslist Personals section. A cabaret of live performance celebrating and paying homage to the prototype of the modern escort site. This event will be a fundrasier for the FOSTA/SESTA repeal effort and aims to educate our audience on the challenges of working in the sex industry, and illuminate them on how deeply this bill will disrupt workers’ ability to vet clients, advertise services, and distribute safety materials. All proceeds of this event will go towards the Sex Workers Project.

Where: The Museum of Sex – 233 5th Ave, New York, NY 10016 www.MuseumofSex.com
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When: May 4th 9pm

What:Exhibition ( A Performance Piece) – Young and her personal belongings are placed on display as a docent leads the audience through the exhibit ( this may be an audio tour which plays or possibly another performer that I bring into the mix).  Young and her belongings are examined and dissected as the docent analyzes Young’s identity based on her appearance, the way that she dresses, and her relationship with sexuality.  The docent (or audio tour) analysis of Young will be based on social media commentary posted online about Young addressing her work in pornography and sex work.  Exhibition illuminates the vitriol and fear based sex shaming that sex workers (and all women) experience on a daily basis. 

Where: Grace Exhibition Space – 840 BROADWAY, 2ND FLOOR – BROOKLYN, NY 11206 – http://www.grace-exhibition-space.com/about.php

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When: May 10th at 7pm

What: The DIY Porn Revolution: An Intimate POV On Kink, Sex Work, Porn and Politics:Feminist Porn Icon,Madison Young, reads from her recently published auto-biographical books that delve deep into the sexual undergrounds of kink and sex work through the feminist lens.  Young will be reading from her memoir Daddy, which Margaret Cho calls “..downright inspirational” and The DIY Porn Handbook:Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution. Reading will be followed by an intimate Q&A.

Where: Bluestocking Bookstore – 172 Allen Street, New York, NY 10002

Event URL: http://bluestockings.com/event/the-diy-porn-revolution-an-intimate-pov-on-kink-sex-work-porn-and-politics/?instance_id=190656

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When: May 11th 8 – 10pm

What:Deep Throat and the Art of Oral Sex –Madison Young presents an innovative presentation demystifying the art of oral sex and deep throating.   Utilizing live demonstrations, interactive games,  throat relaxation exercises and intimacy building techniques, Madison will guide you through gifting full body energy rich fellatio to your lover/s.  We will learn the sensitive erogenous zones of the cock and techniques to stimulate the cock with our hands, mouths, and throat.  Learn techniques for opening your mouth, throat and heart in giving one of the best blow jobs of your life.   All of this and more will be answered in this in depth exploration of Deep Throating and the Art of Oral Sex.

Where:  The Pleasure Chest – 1150 2nd Avenue, Manhattan, NY 10065

Event URL: https://thepleasurechest.com/new-york-ues-location

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When: May 18th and 19th

What:Reveal All Fear Nothing: A Journey in Sex, Love, Porn and Feminism is a multi-media performance and experimental theater piece written and performed by  Madison Young and developed with the legendary Annie Sprinkle.  This is theater that cracks wide open the sexual underground worlds of BDSM, pornography, and kink while demystifying  and celebrating these often misunderstood and misrepresented communities and movements.   Reveal All Fear Nothing is an adaptation from Annie Sprinkle’s one woman show,  Post Porn Modernist, performed from 1989-2004

Where:  The Hacienda Brooklyn NY (address disclosed after purchase of tickets)

Tickets Available at –  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/reveal-all-fear-nothing-tickets-44707332836

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When: May 20th

What: Curious Foxes’ Consider This Conference: A Day of Challenging the Status Quo in Sex and Relationships.  Join me as I address how creating porn can be a catalyst for political change and smashing sexual stigma as well as untangling the cultural perceptions of pornography that are steeped in sex shame.

Where: LittleField – 635 Sackett St, Brooklyn, NY 11217 – https://www.littlefieldnyc.com/

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When: June 2nd

What: Smashing the Patriarchy through Pleasure Based Performance Art: An EcoSex Magic Ritual – Through a radical performative magic ritual in the natural landscape of Rosekill, Young calls upon the energies and spirits of hell raisers, activists, feminists, and social justice leaders of the past as she confronts head on the pain and grief of our current political climate.  Young acts as a conduit for bold pleasure based energy in this audience participatory ritual that hexes the patriarchy and expels fear and rage in our bodies making room for radical love and pleasure in a powerful and magical call to action that will leave the audience emboldened to go out into the world and create change.

Where: ROSEKILL OUTDOOR PERFORMANCE SPACE – Rosendale, NY. – http://www.rosekill.com/about

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When: June 8th and 9th 10:30pm

What:Reveal All Fear Nothing: A Journey in Sex, Love, Porn and Feminism is a multi-media performance and experimental theater piece written and performed by  Madison Young and developed with the legendary Annie Sprinkle.  This is theater that cracks wide open the sexual underground worlds of BDSM, pornography, and kink while demystifying  and celebrating these often misunderstood and misrepresented communities and movements.   Reveal All Fear Nothing is an adaptation from Annie Sprinkle’s one woman show,  Post Porn Modernist, performed from 1989-2004

Where: The Tank -312 West 36th Street / First Floor / New York, NY 10018

Venue Web site: http://www.thetanknyc.org/ –

FB Event Page: https://www.facebook.com/events/157825735044376/

Tickets available at : Friday: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3387719

                                    Saturday: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3387719

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I was never really a huge fan of The Little Mermaid.  As a feminist, the idea of trading in my voice for the chance to meet and fall in love with Prince Charming, made my stomach turn.  But there was something about mermaids that was just sexy.  My partner used to say that I was a siren on the rocks in our early courtship. I would woo him from grey Seattle to my cozy studio apartment in San Francisco’s Castro district. He would follow my begging voice that ached for him to be nuzzled up against my body and he would find himself racking up frequent flier miles to be closer to me.

  There was a magic to mermaids, a sexual magnetism, and at the same time a very queer otherness that was appealing to me.  I had often found myself fantasizing about what mermaid sex might be like.  I imagined myself as a dykey sailor and ravaging the feminine body of a green haired mermaid.  She would submerge my body deep into the ocean, tying me down to the ocean rocks and treasure chests while her mouth made her way between my legs and I squealed out in orgasm. 

But on this particular day, I would be experiencing the mind blowing fantasy of mermaid sex on land.  I was directing a feminist porn film exploring mermaid role play in the bed room.  Despite my own mermaid fantasies, I had never had mermaid sex before.  After over a decade working as a feminist porn performer and director there were few totally new sexual experiences that I had yet to explore.  But this was one of them. 

My mind was buzzing as I schlepped my camera and gear up the stairs of the apartment where we were shooting in the inner sunset of San Francisco.  What exactly would mermaid sex look like?  Did I have an inner mermaid just aching to come out and express her sexuality on dry land? 

I handed over my equipment to the film crew and went through the shot list and set up for the scene while we waited for my co-star to arrive.   My co-star – Ela Darling – was a beautiful woman who I was completely enamored with. She was ecstatic at the idea of mermaid role play and informed me that she had not one but two mermaid tails in her wardrobe that she could bring for the scene.  When Ela arrived the house exploded with femme accessories, glitter, shells, and mermaid tails along with lube, vibrators and dildos that sparkled in the San Francisco sunshine. 

After we discussed the scene, Ela and I, made our way to the bedroom where the camera crew was waiting.  The tight mermaid tails with it’s sparkly gill like pattern, fit snuggly around our legs and butt, a shiny stretchy spandex like material that hugged us  like hobble skirts and made it difficult to walk. 

We found our way to a reclined position on the mattress surrounded by gloves, lube, vibrators and dildos that we had intended on using.  I was ready for this scene.  When the videographer called out “Action”, Ella’s lips came in close to mine, slowly, delicately.  She tasted of candy, of sweetness of every teenage fantasy and wet dream that I had ever had.  I was making out with my mermaid fantasy girl! 

Her mouth made it’s way down to my breasts and I wriggled and writhed under her touch, my body melting under her gaze.  My hand reached out for her body and my fingers made my way down her torso under the waist band of her mermaid tail to find her wetness.  I awkwardly straddled her wanting nothing more than to get past these tails.  How do I get to her ass?  How do I get to her cunt?  I want in little mermaid!  Let me in please!

I nuzzled my nose into her mermaid ass and pondered at how mermaids fuck on land?  Where do mermaid genitalia and erogenous zones reside?  This had never been a problem in my fantasies before.  I looked over at the bed side table and saw a knife.  I pulled Ella in close to my body and kissed her long and hard and handed her the knife.

“I want you to fucking gut me like a fish!  Gut me like a fish and fuck me please!  Please!”, I begged.

She smiled and carefully, slowly sliced the mermaid tail at the seam that kept her from my cunt.  The camera came in close grabbing shots of the knife and Ela’s smile.  The film crew danced around our mermaid bodies as we navigated how to pleasure one another with a little bit of frustration, with a little more innovation.

Ela handed me my vibrator and flipped me over onto my chest, my ass in the air, my vibe on my clit and Ela’s soft petite hands filling my very wet cunt as I made my way closer to orgasm.  “ I want to hear you singing my pretty little mermaid.”, Ela whispered with driving intensity.  As I climaxed I sang out “Part of Your World” belting out the Disney mermaid tune as I climaxed harder and harder drowning in my very own mermaid fantasy come true. 

In the end we found ourselves with out our tails. Exhausted and lying in puddles of our own pleasure.  These mermaid’s had sprouted legs and torn out of their old skins.  We had evolved into something new, something sweaty, something animal and at the same time very human.

As we found our way to the shower the warm water was a welcomed and refreshing sensation.  We packed up our things and signed our paper work.  And as the taxi picked me up and toted me back to my Berkeley home on the other side of the bay, I gazed out the window, endorphins still rushing through my body and my camera full of footage to edit, proof that mermaid fantasies do exist. 

 

Madison Young is an artist, published author of the memoir “Daddy” and “The DIY Porn Handbook:Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution”,as well as an award winning  feminist pornographer of over 44 erotic films.  She is currently touring with her one woman show “Reveal All Fear Nothing : A Journey in Sex, Love, Porn and Feminism” (www.RevealAllFearNothing.com).

 

Make sure to check out all the other kinky posts circulating via Kinky Sex Tips Blogfest 2017 #kinkysextips at https://vivayourrevolution.com/kinky-sex-tips-blogfest17/

Meet Eri Kardos. She is an International Communications and Connection Coach, Speaker, Author, and Mom. She specializes in empowering people to choose their own adventure in relationships, career, and life. Eri provides video coaching sessions to clients across the globe. You can check out her soon-to-be-released book, “Relationship Agreements” and find her online at www.EriKardos.com.

 

Name: Eri Kardos

Occupation: International Communications & Connection Coach, Speaker, & Author

Child’s (Children’s age): 11 months (& 3 months in my uterus!)

  1. How do you keep your relationship and sex life sizzling and exciting now that you’re a parent?
  • We took Esther Perel’s advice and assigned one parent in charge of the child and the other parent in charge of the relationship. It’s not to say that we don’t both contribute, and it’s understood that I am already naturally thinking about all of the logistics of keeping the kid alive. My partner then focuses on getting me away from that constant mommy mindset and back into a place where I am a sexy mama and loved partner. For the first 5 years of our children’s lives, my partner makes sure date nights happen, that we get out and have fun, and that we stay playful in love. I often make suggestions for dates when I am inspired. It takes a lot of stress off of me to have them handle it and I am sure we’ll return to more dating balance once the kids are more independent. We both LOVE learning together, so we intentionally invest in sex and intimacy classes where we can try new techniques and stretch our mindset around connection.

2. How do you nourish yourself in a way that makes you feel honored, inspired, and sexually empowered?

  • Self-care. What does that look like in my life as a pregnant mom? It means investing in a babysitter for some “me” time each week where I get to ask myself, “What do my body and soul thirst for in this moment?” The answer is often something like, “A long, hot shower where I can shave my legs in peace; a movie in a theater; time to stretch, do yoga, & meditate in silence; a chance to journal for 15 minutes; a phone call with someone new and inspiring (I actively seek out connection with other sexy mamas); going dancing; getting alone time to rest and masturbate; sharing a drink with a friend in the sunshine.” Child care also means date time – a chance to talk about what is on each of our hearts and rediscover intimate connection. I find that being goofy together and doing a little role playing in bed can be an amazing tool for nourishing my soul. Sometimes I am the all-powerful, sexy-as-hell queen of the land who is being taken care with foot rubs and…other things…by my a delicious sex slave. Other times I am a rebellious stripper in a club seducing my next target. Role play a fun way to connect and get lost in pretend together when so much of real life feel full of serious logistics navigating.

3. What was the most unexpected thing that you discovered about navigating your      sex life after you became a parent?

  • Scheduling! I don’t have energy at night for sexy times (besides a quickie) and my partner is too tired in the morning. Thus, 3pm dates are crucial. It also means that we have to get REALLY creative when looking for spontaneous sexy opportunitie, because it can be a challenge to switch hats from “mom” to “sexy partner.”

4. What is your favorite date night experience now that you are a mom?

  • My favorite date night experience now is living in luxury and doing adult things that were once so simple to do. A night out might include getting a couple’s massage, enjoying delicious cuisine at a fine-dining establishment where we have to google the meaning of certain ingredients and can savor each bite slowly, and sharing drinks in a lounge with other adults (sans children). My partner loves it when I swap out my comfy mommy-yoga pants for something more stylish. Though part of me dislikes the time it takes to get ready, we’ve found that playing dress-up can really shift the mood of the night (hint: I recommend not wearing panties on date night).

5. How has your relationship to your body and your partner shifted or transformed through parenthood?

Honestly, I am not in connection with my body as much as I was prior to becoming a mom. I have been a dancer all of my life, and was getting out on the social dance floor several times a week up until Aavi was born. Now it seems the only dancing I do is in my living room with my baby (which, come to think of it, is a daily occurrence!). It is possible to remain somatically connected, and it takes more intention and creativity now.

As I write this I am beginning the second trimester of my second pregnancy. What a totally different experience from the first time! With Aavi I was SO in touch with my body and noticed every little change, received every message loud and clear, and was regularly in awe of my body’s power to create life. This time around it feels more natural and I am so busy chasing a toddler around that it takes a great deal of intention to tune into my pregnant body and the new baby inside! I would have never imagined this could be my experience, and yet it is – and I hear from other mom’s that they had similar experiences with pregnancy after their first.

In terms of my relationship with my partner, we have deepened our connection as life partners and soulmates. There is something incredibly powerful about going through the fire of parenting together. Each day is a new adventure and a new set of challenges. We love it so much that we decided to start trying for baby #2 once baby #1 hit 8 months old. While we have had to find creative and intentional ways of connecting romantically regularly, the flow of communication between us has turned up to full force and I love the new groove we share.

6. What is your number one tip for making time for intimacy and a relationship?

  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Even if finances are tight, I encourage you to reach out to family and friends and set up a barter at least once a week for someone to watch your child(ren). It is incredibly easy for time to slip away in the fog of parenthood and the partnership disconnect can lead to more conflict and less connection. Put it on your calendar for a time when works best for the both of you and honor that time for intimacy.

7. What was one thing about pregnancy sex that you loved?  What was one thing about pregnancy sex that was challenging for you?

I have always been pansexual and have been involved in open relationships for many years. When I became pregnant I was amazed at how my desires really became centered around female-bodied and female-identified people. This led to more exploration with wonderful, adventurous female-presenting humans. I can easily say that breasts and vaginas have never been as yummy as when I was pregnant. I still think of those times fondly when I need some fantasy material.

One thing that challenged me was my ever-changing libido. Some moments I wanted to fuck everything, and other moments I was repulsed by the thought of touch. Thank goodness for compassionate, patient, communicative partners who listened and held space for me. Together we were able to find meaningful ways to connect no matter what my sex drive was doing.

8. Where do you find erotic and sensual inspiration now that you’re a mom?

  • The places I find inspiration now are pretty much the same places I did prior to becoming a mom. I enjoy erotica and pornography from time to time (Kushiel’s Dart by Jaqueline Carey is one of my favorite sexy adventure reads!). However, my favorite thing to do is attend educational workshops on sex and intimacy. These tend to be taught by creative, passionate instructors who invest lots of time and resources into thinking and being outside of the box. These classes can be found online, at local sex shops, and at sex-positive centers. I now love giving back to the community by teaching sex and intimacy courses around the world and privately with clients.

9. What was your greatest resource post-partum for reclaiming your body and sexual self?

  • My greatest resources post-partum for reclaiming my body and my sexual self included: talking with other mom’s about their experiences and ways to integrate being a mom with being in my body (e.g. baby yoga, mom & baby gymnastics, and family dances);  working with sexological bodyworker and birth doula Katie Spataro (www.sacredwombservices.com); and tapping into my own processes through gentle exploration and journalling.

10. What are ways that you facilitate a body positive/sex positive environment for your child to grow/thrive/explore?

If you have not seen it yet, I encourage you to check out Amy Lang’s work at www.birdsandbeesandkids.com. She is a wonderful sex-educator for families and offers ideas on how to create a healthy body positive and sex positive environment throughout all stages of growth and development.

Things that we currently do in Aavi’s first year of life include lots of naked time as a family, co-showering, naked time for him around the house (yes, this means we are ever-prepared to clean up after him), and naming body parts as he discovers them – including, “That is your penis.” We also practice establishing boundaries for our own bodies. For example, when he was nursing and would bite me I would react by pulling him off my breast and stating, “Ouch! It hurts my body when you bite me. I feel sad and hurt.”  Later when he was closer to 10 months he began pinching everything (including my labia and nipples!). I would once again have a big reaction where it was clear that I was feeling hurt, and remove him from being near my body, explaining my feelings and creating a clear cause and effect for him. It takes time, patience, and love to establish these boundaries and he catches on surprisingly quickly – especially when it is about the emotional response of sadness and pain for us versus anger and punishment.

 

Had an amazing time performing at TMI at the Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco! Such an incredible line up including Carol Queen, Gina Gold, and TMI Lounge. My good friend Sophia LaPaglia shot these photos and video of me performing a story about my journey to becoming MILF and the realities of performing in porn at 37 weeks pregnant. I loved meeting and talking to folks post show. Huge thanks to everyone who came out and got autographed copies of my newest books at the event. Don’t miss this Saturday’s event at Good Vibes in Oakland from 2-4 PM where I will be signing copies of my new book, “The Ultimate Guide to Sex Through Pregnancy and Motherhood”!